Tuesday, 24 April 2012

So what can you do if you don't get the primary school you wanted?

Photo credit - msegura
All throughout April, parents of children who are due to start school in the next academic year have been nervously waiting to find out which school has a place for their child. By the end of this week, I think pretty much everyone in England should know their fate.

Whatever you read, the majority of parents do get a place for their child at their first choice school. It varies a lot according to the local situation but most areas have sufficient places.

But what if you don't? Although it didn't happen to me, I can imagine it's pretty gut-wrenching and upsetting to find that you haven't got the school you wanted. It can feel like the end of the world, probably made even worse by others getting what they want.

It isn't the end of the world. There are various things you can do. Please remember I write this as a parent and it is stuff I learned from the experiences of others I know who went through similar. It's just suggestions and tips. Always check local arrangements with your local authority.

Do you appeal?

Most people's reaction  is to consider an appeal. Others are likely to recommend it, and it seems like your opportunity to put your case. However, you do need to think carefully before you appeal as it is not straightforward at all. What complicates it is the law says that infant class sizes (basically, the first 3 years in school) cannot be greater than 30. If a school is already full and classes are already 30, an appeal is likely to fail although there are a few exceptions that will override the law. These require you to prove that you would have got a place if the admissions process was properly implemented - in other words, they made a mistake at some point, or that you would have got a place if the admissions process had followed the School Admissions Code. The other exception is that refusing you a place was not a decision that a "reasonable authority" would have made. All of these require some effort and can be quite hard to prove unless you are sure a mistake has been made. It is possible to do, but the hearing might not be until the summer, and the result not known for a few days after that. If you can prove your case, they will have to award you a place, even if the infant class size is exceeded.

The decision whether to appeal is very personal. Many decide to appeal, then find out what's involved and withdraw. What does happen is that the admissions body will send you all the information relating to your appeal before the hearing which gives you time to prepare your case or decide whether to take it further. At a hearing, the admissions body will be given chance to state why they didn't give you a place, then it will be your turn to do the same. Your case will need to concentrate on the decision to refuse you a place. Personal circumstances (unless this is something you were relying on in your original application) will not be taken into account. I can ramble on about this for hours so if you want to know more, please do get in touch with me.

Is there anything else you can do if you decide not to appeal?

The first thing to remember is that you do not have to accept the place you've been offered if you really don't want it. The local authority will provide you with a list of schools who do have places available. It's also worth contacting the school(s) that didn't offer you a place and ask for your child to be placed on their waiting list - there will be a lot of movement as people decide they don't need the place,  move areas or even emigrate. The school will place you in the list according to the same admissions criteria, but they will also be able to tell you what position in the list you hold. Most schools will operate waiting lists until the start of the school year but some keep them for longer.

Even if you are putting in an appeal, it is worth putting in some effort to go and see other schools, whether that is the school you've been offered or others that you've been told have places available. Because there may be a number of parents in the same position, you'll probably be given a deadline to express a preference for another school and then you will be told if you have a place. Having a place sorted out is a good insurance policy if your appeal is not successful, and it's worth noting that doing so will not affect your appeal. It may mean that your child starts settling in sessions at a school they ultimately don't attend but it is probably better than not doing so.

If none of these avenues provide any joy, you may take the ultimate sanction of not accepting a place anywhere. Remember that, in England at least, no child has to attend school until the term after they turn 5. Even with the oldest children in the year born between September and December, that means they don't have to go to school until January. A January to April child wouldn't have to start school until after the Easter holidays and any child younger than that wouldn't have to start school until the start of Year 1 (although they will miss Reception altogether if this is the case). In that time, it is very likely that a place will become available at a school that suits you. Alternatively, you may decide to home educate which is another topic in itself. I know little about it but people like Jax who home educates her children know a lot more than me.

If your child does start at a school that you're not totally happy with, remember that nothing is forever.You may begin to feel very differently about a school once your child is a pupil there, especially if they settle in well, are happy and seem to be doing well. Places at other schools can become available at any time so even after a school stops operating a waiting list, they may still contact you to ask if you want a place or you can keep in touch with them. The decision to move a child is another personal choice and will very much depend on the child. Generally speaking, younger children seem to adapt better than older ones, but if your child took a while to settle at school and is now happy, you may feel that it's not worth the upheaval of moving them again.

What if you're applying next year and this post terrifies you?

For a start, don't panic. As I said at the start, the majority of parents get their first choice; many more get one of their top choices and are happy with what they are offered. There are a few things you can do to improve your chances of getting a fair outcome. Take care because you will hear a lot of anecdotes from parents of older children of what worked for them but things are very different now (and anyway, they may have worked for them than for the reason they suggest).

First, use all your preferences when applying. Some people still believe that only applying for one school will guarantee them a place. Some thinks it underlines how much they want that school and that the local council will HAVE to give them that school. This is not the case. If you only apply for one school, you'll be treated the same as other parents. If there is no place available for you, the council will find you a place at the nearest available school, which could be a long way from home if places are at a premium, or it might not be a school you're happy with. The way to have some control over your destiny is to apply for as many as you're allowed - the minimum is usually 3 but some areas allow more choices to be made.

Secondly, talk to the schools and understand their admissions policies. Most voluntary aided faith schools (and academies) will have their own admissions criteria which are different to community and voluntary controlled schools. Faith schools usually give top priority to those who attend a local church regularly or those who have their children baptised. If you haven't looked already, it may already be too late to start attending church as the qualification period usually ends in the September before you apply. It may not be a problem but a school will be able to give you an idea how likely it is you could get a place without it. Personally I wouldn't attend church for this reason, and if you're the same, this may affect your decision whether to apply to such a school if it is usually oversubscribed. Also, if your local authority operates catchment areas, understand how they affect you and your choices - applying to an oversubscribed school from out of catchment may be risky and may become even harder when it comes to applying for younger siblings, especially if they are not given priority over children in catchment area.

Next, don't discount any school until you have seen it for yourself. I can't stress this enough - only you know what suits your child and no-one else can judge if a school is right for them. Keep an open mind throughout.

Finally, don't panic. If it doesn't work out for you, then come back to this post next year.


My final thought is this - everything will turn out alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end. Not getting the place you'd hoped for is not the end. It's just the start.

Good luck!


Monday, 23 April 2012

Meal Planning Monday - the birthday / marathon edition!


So, this week is a strange combination and there is not a lot of fancy cooking going on here. Tomorrow is my husband's birthday and then, on Sunday, he's running the Greater Manchester Marathon so he has requested carby things at the end of the week. We've decided we're going out to eat after that, and on his birthday, we're going out for lunch so evening meal will be snacks for us and something quick and easy for the children. In other words, don't expect this to be the most inspiring menu plan I've ever done. I have most things in at the moment so don't really need to do a big shop this week. Always a bonus when you've had birthday presents to buy (not going to reveal what they are in case someone reads this post - and he does occasionally, to check what's for tea!).

Monday -  home made burgers and wedges
Tuesday - beans on toast or something for the children
Wednesday - Jacket spuds filled with quorn chilli or bolognese
Thursday - Sandwiches
Friday - Slow cooker risotto of some sort
Saturday - Squash, ricotta and sage pasta bake
Sunday - marathon day, keeping free.

It will be back to normal next week. Well, kind of - I'm not actually sure there is a normal in this house! Don't forget to check out the other entries to Meal Planning Monday over at  Mrs M's place. And how about you tell me what delights you're having this week. It has to be more inspirational than my plan.

Have a great week, all.

Friday, 20 April 2012

A trio of cheesy grins

Do you remember a few weeks ago, I wrote about going in to school to have school dinner with the children for Mother's Day? Well, I forgot to share this picture, taken on my phone at the lunch by another mum, my friend Tracy and given a bit of a fancy edit by me.

I dunno where the children get those cheesy grins from! Do you think they were excited?


This is one of the last photographs I have of Missy Woo with her front baby teeth, and my hair is shorter now. This photo is already a memory to keep and to treasure, remembering times past.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

How do you teach children to stand up for themselves?

Photo credit - lusi
Since Monkey was small, we have taught him to walk away from trouble. To be fair to him, unless it's his sister, if another child has hit him, or snatched a toy from him, he's stood there and look mystified but as the time for him to start school approached, we made sure he knew that retaliation was not good.

He's never had a problem at school. There have been the odd occasion when a child has hit him but all he has done is tell the nearest appropriate adult and it hasn't been repeated. The school stress their zero tolerance for bullying and I know he feels comfortable telling me there's been a problem or telling a member of staff at school.

But lately, I've been wondering - at what point do I teach him to stand up for himself and to do that without resorting to physical violence? Over the last year, I've noticed that there is an older boy who lives nearby that makes him feel very uncomfortable and whilst not actually bullying him, has hit other children that he knows and has been nasty to him. Most of the time, he has avoided him and told me about any problems he's had with him. Until now, I've told him to stay away.

But last week during the holidays, he went to the park around the corner with Missy Woo and this boy was there. The boy asked him who his girlfriend was. Instead of saying, "She's my sister," and carry on normally, he came home again.

At some point, I think he will probably have to be able to stand his ground, and learn when to do that and when to walk away. I don't want him to be cowed by any type of bully, be that physical or verbal and yes, it is probably right to walk away from someone who is being, or threatening to be, violent but not to someone who's just being mean. When should that be, and how do I start to teach him that skill or wisdom to know the difference between the two? My worry is that school is so supportive about dealing with bullying behaviour that they don't really know how to deal with it when it crops up in other situations. Not that I want him to be bullied; I just need to teach him how to handle himself without having to raise his fists. I don't want him to get in trouble - he probably won't but it's always a risk - and I don't want him to get a reputation with other children or their parents.

Do you have any advice for me? How have you dealt with this tricky area of parenting? How best can I support him - and ultimately, Missy Woo too? I'd love you to share your collective wisdom with me. Please do so in the comments below because I am sure I am not the only parent bothered by this. Thank you. 


MAD Blog Awards 2012*Edit* If you've enjoyed this post and others on my blog, would you like to nominate me for a MAD Blog Award? Nominations close this week and I've already been nominated in a few categories, although I'm probably a best fit for the Schooldays and Family Life categories. If you would like to nominate me, click on the badge and fill out the form on the Nominate page. Thank you and thanks for all the lovely nominations so far.

Monday, 16 April 2012

Meal Planning Monday - the My Family Club edition

This is a sponsored post. 


This week, I am doing something different again. I was approached to talk about a brand and I said yes because I took a look and liked what I saw. My Family Club is a website that wants to help parents save money and time, and from today, is starting an ad campaign coming to a TV near you.

When I first looked at the site, I noticed that it had a kitchen section. There are meal plans and a wealth of recipes that are easy to make and on your pocket. So, as I've done this sort of thing before, I decided to plan a week of meals from the site to test them out. None of the meal plans were completely right for me, so I picked out my favourites from their recipe section and made my own plan.

Here, then, is our week in meals. Two things I noticed when doing my plan - one was that the recipe section wasn't easily searchable nor the recipes grouped logically so you had to click through all the recipes to find your favourites. The other was that the butternut squash, bacon and mushroom lasagne recipe says that it is a "vegetarian" alternative, which made me laugh. Surely not?

Monday - Sesame chicken with rice
Tuesday - Butternut squash, bacon and mushroom lasagne
Wednesday - Bean burgers and paprika chips
Thursday - Sandwiches as usual
Friday - Shepherd's pie with a twist
Saturday - keeping free, although it's likely to be tapas.
Sunday -  Cheese and ham pancakes

If proof were needed that these are easy on the pocket, I bought all the ingredients in an online shop last night and I struggled to get my bill over £40, even with me stocking up the house after the school holidays, and trust me, I have run out of  most staples.  Admittedly, I do seem to be very well stocked in my store cupboard at the moment and have some chicken in the freezer. I bought some extra treats to take it over the minimum order value.

How about you take a look at My Family Club yourself? If you join as a member (which is free), you can get access to special offers and participate in the community section, asking and answering questions. There is also currently a competition to win an iPad and iPod bundle on there to enter when you give them your best money saving tip.

And of course, this is still a Meal Planning Monday post, so don't forget to tell me what you are eating this week, and to visit Mrs M who hosts the Meal Planning Monday linky.

(I have been paid a fee to write this post as well as to post a small number of sponsored tweets. I was asked to include links in this post, mentioning My Family Club but all words and opinions are my own. )

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Thai fish pie - family style


This sounds mad, doesn't it? I first saw it on one of the last episodes of Something for the Weekend and thought I had to give it a go. Unfortunately, on looking at the recipe, I realised I would have to adapt it if I were to make it for all of us as it had fresh chillies in it. With this adaptation in mind, I set about buying the ingredients - and discovered that monkfish was not only difficult to find, it was damned expensive. There were various things about the recipe that I felt weren't quite right (you can tell it was written by a chef rather than a food writer) - like I'm still not sure if it was a typo that 200g butter would be added to the mash. So I've done my own version based on this.

I still add a bit of chilli powder to this, but if you want, you can leave it out. However, I like that it leaves a little bit of warmth at the back of your mouth, just enough for you to know it's there but not enough to have Monkey and Missy Woo grabbing drinks and complaining "It's too spicy." They love this, as do I. If you do want it really spicy, just add some fresh chopped chilli in step 2.

The important ingredients are the lemongrass and the kaffir lime leaves, as they really add flavour. Both are easily bought from supermarkets these days - make sure you buy fresh, not dried, lemongrass.

Thai Fish Pie
Serves 4-6

Ingredients
700g sweet potato, peeled and cut into chunks
200g potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
1 tbsp vegetable
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 stalk lemongrass, bruised (just bash it with the handle of a knife)
2 kaffir lime leaves
1 tsp mild chilli powder (optional)
400ml coconut milk
100ml milk
400g white fish, cut into chunks
200g salmon, skin removed and cut into chunks
200g peeled prawns, preferably king or jumbo size, either raw or cooked
25g butter, plus a knob of butter for the mash
25g flour
100g frozen peas
1 lime, juice and zest
fish sauce (optional)


1. First, place the sweet potato and potato into a pan of hot water, cover and bring to the boil. Simmer until soft. Drain.

2. Whilst the potatoes are cooking, heat the oil in a large pan and add the onion, garlic, lemongrass and kaffir lime leaves. Cook over a medium heat for about 3 minutes. Add the chilli powder, if using, stir and cook for a couple more minutes. Add both milks. If using light coconut milk, turn the heat right down immediately. If you have time, turn the heat off and leave to stand for a while to infuse.

3. Add the white fish and salmon to the pan. If you're worried about the coconut milk splitting, turn the heat off and allow the fish to poach using residual heat, otherwise keep the heat down as low as possible. After about 3/4 minutes, add the prawns if they are raw. They will turn pink when they are cooked.

4. Using a slotted spoon, lift the fish out of the pan and place in your dish, putting the poaching liquor to one side. Your dish needs to be about 25cm x 25cm although I tend to use a small lasagne dish. Scatter over the peas.  Turn the oven onto 200 C /400F / Gas 6.

5. When the potatoes are done, mash them with a knob of butter. I also tend to add a squeeze of lime juice to cut the sweetness. Season. Take the lemongrass and kaffir lime leaves out of the poaching liquor before you make the sauce.

6. In another pan, melt the 25g butter, add the flour, and cook for a minute. Add the poaching liquor a bit at a time, whisking constantly. Once it's all added, squeeze in the rest of the juice of the lime and add the zest, bring it up to the boil then simmer gently for 5 minutes, stirring all the time. Season to taste - I tend to do this with a dash of fish sauce, but you can use salt and pepper if you like.

7. Pour the sauce over the fish and peas. Scoop the mash over the fish and rough up the surface in whatever way you choose; I tend to use the back of a spoon. Cook in the oven for 25 minutes. If you like a crispy top (don't we all?), place it under a hot grill for a few minutes.

You can serve with some stir fried greens if you like but it's fine just as it is, and leftovers also reheat well.

Friday, 13 April 2012

School holidays - a break for who again?

Planning how to drive me mad next
Much as it's nice not to have to dash around at 8.30am and 3.20pm every weekday during the school holidays,  we're reaching that point where we've been in each other's company a little too much. Little niggles between the children that started as storms in a teacup are beginning to escalate into major fallouts, constant requests for squash/chocolate/ice-cream/more chocolate/toys, and a desire to make every day special (because of course, it is a holiday) and therefore resisting the usual routine of bedtimes, meals and everyday life. They all conspire to ensure we begin to grate on each other a bit. I know it's a break for the children, but not so much for me.

Thankfully, the weather hasn't been as bad as expected this week, if you ignore Monday when it rained all day and I spent most of the day cleaning the house with, or more accurately, in spite of their help. This means the children can play out with their friends on our road or the next road. Although I seem to spend some days shouting "Door!" every ten minutes as they fling it open wide to return for drinks/meals/toilet visits or deposit sporting equipment as they change games or playmates, I quite enjoy the breaks; they're like little oases of peace, punctuated by a child bursting through the door.

I realised yesterday that the children have begun to figure this out for themselves that I might actually enjoy this. The children were trying to decide what to do when Monkey turned to me and said, "We're going outside, Mummy. We'll leave you in peace," and went out of the door, taking Missy Woo with him.

Is it wrong I went straight to make a coffee?
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