Dear So and So - nursery, dog owners, Daily Mail and Blogladesh

Dear nursery staff,

Thank you so much. Missy Woo has had a ball there for the last 3 and a bit years and Monkey had a great time too. We're all going to miss you but we're going to pop back to say hello for Missy Woo to show off her school uniform.

Hope you liked the cake, Monkey and Missy Woo's Mummy.

Dear children,

I am going to miss you when you go away tomorrow. No, really, I am. It's just you sneaking out of bed early and trashing various rooms of the house that I won't miss. And the noise. And the constant demands.

Be good children now for Granny and Grandad.

Lots of love, Mummy

Dear dog owner,

If you notice my child freaking out because of your dog, even if it is on a lead, please attempt to move away from or avoid said child rather making it worse by marching towards the small whirl of arms, legs, screams and red face with dog. Don't make it worse or I'll need your address to send you the therapist's bill.

Yours not-so-faithfully,

Kate

Dear Daily Mail,

I really do wonder. Changing copy to put words in my mouth and then not allowing me to comment on the article online. Hmm. And you're the ones that bang on about freedom of speech, and the Big Brother culture. Pot. Kettle. Black!

No love, Me.

Dear blog readers,

You, on the other hand, have been wonderful (again) (see comments). Your support means the world to me. I'm going to stop banging on about it now or your collective heads won't get through the door.

Love and kisses*, Kate.

Dear Josie, Sian and Eva,

The very best of luck on your Blogladesh trip.

Safe journey, Kate.

*Kisses are non-transferable and non-redeemable as real kisses. I'm not kissing the bloody lot of you!

Dear So and So - diversions, children, social networking, yogurt, blog readers - and Asda again!

Not done this for a few weeks, but thought I'd do it now that Kat's back at 3 Bedroom Bungalow after her trip home. So, let's get down to some serious catharsis...

Dear urban planners,

Just who had the idea to shut the shortest of stretches of road with little warning, requiring the biggest diversions? First, I have to detour taking Monkey to his football on Monday (and now divert every day) then I go to take him to swimming on Wednesday and found another, requiring a 3 mile diversion. I know you want nice smooth roads - and God knows, so do I - but seriously? Are you out to annoy me or sommat?

Yours frustratedly,

Kate

Dear Asda,

Yes, it's me again. I've only been to the store for top up shops recently. You want to know why? Yep, that's right - no cafe! Please, please, please - how much do I have to beg before you put one back in? There must be plenty of mums with babies that don't go there because feeding is not easy. Or hungry kids. Or just hungry. Or thirsty.

Please sort it out. Pretty please?

Yours even more thirstily,

Kate

Dear children,

When we say "Stay in bed in the morning", that's what we mean. We don't mean "Get up to go to the toilet and then go wake up your sibling, even at 4am". There is a reason you're tired and it ain't anything to do with me.

Love,

Mummy

Dear Facebook,

Stop messing around with things, and pretending they're "enhancements". And no, I don't want to show all my photos and personal information to the whole frickin' world. Oh, and you're not Twitter, ya hear?

Sort it out,

Kate

Dear Twitter,

I love you just the way you are. Please don't try and turn into Facebook. You aren't and you never will be.  You do it so much better than them. New "features" should be added advisedly and only if it REALLY enhances your users' experiences of it. And I can't wait for your new data centre,

Yours hoping I don't see the fail whale again,

Kate

Dear Onken,

Coconut Yogurt. OMG! I love it. And you. But I hate you - I want to eat all of it in one go and I'm trying to lose weight. Can you not do smaller tubs?

Yours lasciviously,

Me

And finally......

Dear blog readers,

Thank you. I was really worried about publishing this post with pictures and all on my blog. But I did and you made such lovely comments, both on here and on Twitter, that I'm so glad I did.

I love you all,

Kate x