George at ASDA Halloween ‘Spooky Scribes’ Challenge

Helloooooooooooooooooooo!

Hmm.

Do you like Hallowe'en? I must admit, it's not really me. I think it's my age - I used to think of it as spooky, whereas my two just think "sweets!". Hey ho.

Anyway, I shall stop being a miserable so-and-so for a minute. George at Asda invited us to join their Spooky Scribes challenge. The idea is that one of the children writes a very short story about Hallowe'en based on a costume that we've chosen from their Hallowe'en range. Now, writing is something that Monkey needs to work on a bit so I asked him if he was up for it and to my surprise, he was. However it has not been easy but after a few false starts, he's finally come up with something that I can share with you today. As part of this process, I have discovered that a) he thinks he has no imagination (which I find quite sad because he has a good imagination) and b) he writes better on a computer than he does writing it with a pen and paper. In order to finish this off, he did dictate the second half of this story to me but his spelling was noticeably better than when he writes with a pen.

Anyway, here is Monkey's story, which I will call

Hallooooooooooooooooooowe'en birthday

On the day of Halloween, I was extremely happy because I was going trick or treating, but it was also my birthday. I was going to wear my werewolf costume; it has a hairy, itchy chest, sleeves that tickle my elbows and a squished nose. I don’t look very scary with a squished nose.

I am so excited because after trick or treating, I’m going to Grandma’s for a sleepover and she’s got my present. I don’t know what it is, but it had better be good!

I go downstairs and everyone sings Happy Birthday. I open my presents; Lego, cars, and a games console.

The day passes slowly and I have lots of fun. Then it starts raining hard and Mum says I can’t go trick or treating or I’ll catch a cold. I start to cry. “Don’t worry,” Mum says, hugging me. “It’s time to go to Grandma’s.”

Knock, knock, knock on Grandma’s door. “Hello”, says Grandma when she opens it. “Are you here for your sleepover?  I’ve got your present, let’s go inside.”

My present is a bike. I’m so happy, I howl like a werewolf. “Not bad for a werewolf with a squished nose”, says Grandma.

THE END

(He insisted I add the words "THE END" bit to the bottom, in case you didn't know that it had finished!)

There is a competition to win a £50 voucher for the post with most comments but I'm not really bothered about that - I'd like people to leave comments to encourage Monkey, to give him confidence that he CAN write and he does have good ideas. I will read all comments to Monkey (and possibly allow him to reply to them too!).

(Asda sent us a free fancy dress costume along with some facepaints in return for a story being written about their costume. They also asked for a link to the fancy dress Hallowe'en costumes be included in the post. All participants in the challenge will receive a £20 Asda voucher and a commemorative book, but the post with the most comments will receive a £50 voucher.)

Dear So and So - diversions, children, social networking, yogurt, blog readers - and Asda again!

Not done this for a few weeks, but thought I'd do it now that Kat's back at 3 Bedroom Bungalow after her trip home. So, let's get down to some serious catharsis...

Dear urban planners,

Just who had the idea to shut the shortest of stretches of road with little warning, requiring the biggest diversions? First, I have to detour taking Monkey to his football on Monday (and now divert every day) then I go to take him to swimming on Wednesday and found another, requiring a 3 mile diversion. I know you want nice smooth roads - and God knows, so do I - but seriously? Are you out to annoy me or sommat?

Yours frustratedly,

Kate

Dear Asda,

Yes, it's me again. I've only been to the store for top up shops recently. You want to know why? Yep, that's right - no cafe! Please, please, please - how much do I have to beg before you put one back in? There must be plenty of mums with babies that don't go there because feeding is not easy. Or hungry kids. Or just hungry. Or thirsty.

Please sort it out. Pretty please?

Yours even more thirstily,

Kate

Dear children,

When we say "Stay in bed in the morning", that's what we mean. We don't mean "Get up to go to the toilet and then go wake up your sibling, even at 4am". There is a reason you're tired and it ain't anything to do with me.

Love,

Mummy

Dear Facebook,

Stop messing around with things, and pretending they're "enhancements". And no, I don't want to show all my photos and personal information to the whole frickin' world. Oh, and you're not Twitter, ya hear?

Sort it out,

Kate

Dear Twitter,

I love you just the way you are. Please don't try and turn into Facebook. You aren't and you never will be.  You do it so much better than them. New "features" should be added advisedly and only if it REALLY enhances your users' experiences of it. And I can't wait for your new data centre,

Yours hoping I don't see the fail whale again,

Kate

Dear Onken,

Coconut Yogurt. OMG! I love it. And you. But I hate you - I want to eat all of it in one go and I'm trying to lose weight. Can you not do smaller tubs?

Yours lasciviously,

Me

And finally......

Dear blog readers,

Thank you. I was really worried about publishing this post with pictures and all on my blog. But I did and you made such lovely comments, both on here and on Twitter, that I'm so glad I did.

I love you all,

Kate x

Dear So and So - tailgaters, teachers and Asda (again) - amongst other things

Dear 4x4 driver,

Tailgating on a motorway is not big and it's not clever. Rather, it scares and enrages me, particularly if my children are sat in the back. Haven't you ever heard of leaving a safe distance between you and the car in front? Driving a bigger car than the rest of the population doesn't make you better than the rest of us. You just bought a vehicle with features that you hardly ever use as you spend all your time on roads rather than off-road.

Get off my back, Kate

Dear Asda,

Still no news on the coffee shop at my local branch. We used to have one, you know. You put the kiosk, computer games and DVDs there instead and promised us a new one at some point. I don't really want one of those. I occasionally want a coffee instead. You have an empty unit on the side - can't you put one in there? Don't you know that I go to other supermarkets not far away if I want a drink and get my shopping?

Yours getting thirstier, Kate

Dear Supermarket Shopper Mother,

Those small trolleys don't have seats in them for a reason. That being you aren't supposed to put children in them. So DON'T sit your child in them - it's not only stupid, it's bleeding dangerous. I'm still putting my jaw back after seeing you with a baby that can barely sit unaided placed in one. Let's hope he didn't fall out.

Use a big trolley next time, Kate

Dear Weather,

Enough already with the Jekyll & Hyde stuff you've been serving us up in July. Can we please have something a little more balanced? I don't mind the odd bit of rain if it's going to solve the hosepipe ban but do we have to have several deluges a day where the water runs down the road like a river and we get flash floods? So it rains, I put on a waterproof and half an hour later, I am boiling.

Please sort it out, Kate

Dear Reception teaching staff,

Thanks for putting up with Monkey and 29 other 4-5 year olds since last September. It's your first year teaching the Reception class at school and you did a really fab job. Monkey has loved having you as teachers this year. My little boy is a rough, tough schoolboy now but his progress in his schoolwork has been astounding. Sorry you've got me as a parent again next year!

Hope you liked the cakes, Mrs C

Dear Year 1 teaching staff,

Good luck in September! You're off to a good start tho - Monkey thinks you're great. Long may it continue! Not so sure he'll feel like that once he discovers that you actually have to work in Y1. 

Just be aware you've got me for the next two years, Mrs C