Dear So and So - diversions, children, social networking, yogurt, blog readers - and Asda again!

Not done this for a few weeks, but thought I'd do it now that Kat's back at 3 Bedroom Bungalow after her trip home. So, let's get down to some serious catharsis...

Dear urban planners,

Just who had the idea to shut the shortest of stretches of road with little warning, requiring the biggest diversions? First, I have to detour taking Monkey to his football on Monday (and now divert every day) then I go to take him to swimming on Wednesday and found another, requiring a 3 mile diversion. I know you want nice smooth roads - and God knows, so do I - but seriously? Are you out to annoy me or sommat?

Yours frustratedly,

Kate

Dear Asda,

Yes, it's me again. I've only been to the store for top up shops recently. You want to know why? Yep, that's right - no cafe! Please, please, please - how much do I have to beg before you put one back in? There must be plenty of mums with babies that don't go there because feeding is not easy. Or hungry kids. Or just hungry. Or thirsty.

Please sort it out. Pretty please?

Yours even more thirstily,

Kate

Dear children,

When we say "Stay in bed in the morning", that's what we mean. We don't mean "Get up to go to the toilet and then go wake up your sibling, even at 4am". There is a reason you're tired and it ain't anything to do with me.

Love,

Mummy

Dear Facebook,

Stop messing around with things, and pretending they're "enhancements". And no, I don't want to show all my photos and personal information to the whole frickin' world. Oh, and you're not Twitter, ya hear?

Sort it out,

Kate

Dear Twitter,

I love you just the way you are. Please don't try and turn into Facebook. You aren't and you never will be.  You do it so much better than them. New "features" should be added advisedly and only if it REALLY enhances your users' experiences of it. And I can't wait for your new data centre,

Yours hoping I don't see the fail whale again,

Kate

Dear Onken,

Coconut Yogurt. OMG! I love it. And you. But I hate you - I want to eat all of it in one go and I'm trying to lose weight. Can you not do smaller tubs?

Yours lasciviously,

Me

And finally......

Dear blog readers,

Thank you. I was really worried about publishing this post with pictures and all on my blog. But I did and you made such lovely comments, both on here and on Twitter, that I'm so glad I did.

I love you all,

Kate x

Dear So and So

I thought I'd join in with Kat from 3 Bedroom Bungalow's regular "Dear So and So" feature. It allows you the chance to write letters that otherwise might go unsaid....... Here are mine. Feel free to do your own and link back to Kat's page.



Dear Sunday Driver,

Please don't annoy the rest of the driving public by driving on a weekday. Also, driving at the speed of a snail because you are looking for your turning is not only bloody annoying to other road users who wish to get somewhere before the next day, it's ridiculous. You miss your turn? Turn around - takes 30 seconds. You are obviously not in a rush.

Get a Sat Nav, Kate

Dear Call Centres,

Ringing me, an unknown person, and asking "How are you today?" does not mean you are my friend nor make me want to buy any of your products or services. Rather, it pisses me off and just makes me shout "No!" into the receiver and put the phone back down. I'm a busy woman, and I've got TPS.

Leave me alone, Kate

Dear Mormon,

Normally, I love you guys and a polite "no thanks" to your visits suffices. Stopping me in a street that isn't even where my home is, accosting me as I'm trying to deal with one child and collect another from a party, being insistent on talking to me in the middle of the road then offering to come back later does not endear you to me. Unless I go around with my home address attached to my back, there's no way you're going to find me anyway. So there.

Yours with the upper hand, Kate

Dear Asda,

Put a coffee shop in my local store. PLEASE!

Yours thirstily, Kate

Dear Monkey,

Thank you for teaching me a valuable parenting lesson this week. And well done for all your hard work at school this year. Even if you didn't think your quality work was great sometimes, I thought it was. You're a clever boy. Now please can you be an angel in the school holidays?

Yours hopefully, Mummy