Dear So and So - tailgaters, teachers and Asda (again) - amongst other things

Dear 4x4 driver,

Tailgating on a motorway is not big and it's not clever. Rather, it scares and enrages me, particularly if my children are sat in the back. Haven't you ever heard of leaving a safe distance between you and the car in front? Driving a bigger car than the rest of the population doesn't make you better than the rest of us. You just bought a vehicle with features that you hardly ever use as you spend all your time on roads rather than off-road.

Get off my back, Kate

Dear Asda,

Still no news on the coffee shop at my local branch. We used to have one, you know. You put the kiosk, computer games and DVDs there instead and promised us a new one at some point. I don't really want one of those. I occasionally want a coffee instead. You have an empty unit on the side - can't you put one in there? Don't you know that I go to other supermarkets not far away if I want a drink and get my shopping?

Yours getting thirstier, Kate

Dear Supermarket Shopper Mother,

Those small trolleys don't have seats in them for a reason. That being you aren't supposed to put children in them. So DON'T sit your child in them - it's not only stupid, it's bleeding dangerous. I'm still putting my jaw back after seeing you with a baby that can barely sit unaided placed in one. Let's hope he didn't fall out.

Use a big trolley next time, Kate

Dear Weather,

Enough already with the Jekyll & Hyde stuff you've been serving us up in July. Can we please have something a little more balanced? I don't mind the odd bit of rain if it's going to solve the hosepipe ban but do we have to have several deluges a day where the water runs down the road like a river and we get flash floods? So it rains, I put on a waterproof and half an hour later, I am boiling.

Please sort it out, Kate

Dear Reception teaching staff,

Thanks for putting up with Monkey and 29 other 4-5 year olds since last September. It's your first year teaching the Reception class at school and you did a really fab job. Monkey has loved having you as teachers this year. My little boy is a rough, tough schoolboy now but his progress in his schoolwork has been astounding. Sorry you've got me as a parent again next year!

Hope you liked the cakes, Mrs C

Dear Year 1 teaching staff,

Good luck in September! You're off to a good start tho - Monkey thinks you're great. Long may it continue! Not so sure he'll feel like that once he discovers that you actually have to work in Y1. 

Just be aware you've got me for the next two years, Mrs C