LifeCircle 2012: Outside the comfort zone, but not what I was expecting

Once again, this was not the post I was intending to write. I have been working diligently on pushing my comfort zone and thought it was all in hand but I managed to pick something that was not totally under my control.

And then, earlier this week, I had the rug pulled from under me and I truly am out of my comfort zone. As a result, I currently have no regular work lined up for the foreseeable future and that is scary as hell. I feel I need to work on that but I didn't want to leave this post another week.

This may mean the end of Life Circle for a while. At the moment, achieving some kind of financial security for my family is my top priority and that may mean I can't commit to writing posts on particular days. I will do what I can, but I'm not going to promise. On top of that, I have a busy time for the next week or so as it is Nearly New Sale time again. To add further to this, I'm really not sure where to take Life Circle - I am wondering about whether just setting prompts to blog about and explore in your life might work better. What do you think?

I hope you have had a better time with this task than I have. I do look forward to seeing what you've done in the time we've been off. Hopefully, doing something slightly scary is good for you, it can kick start all kinds of things and who knows where it will take you?

As ever, the linky opens at 6am today and stays open for 2 weeks so you have until 17th May to link up your post.

Thanks for reading.

LifeCircle 2012 - Dealing with your comfort zone

Hello, and welcome back to LifeCircle 2012. Do you remember a while back when I got you to do something out of your comfort zone? Well, I promised a follow-up task to it but I needed to give you a while to complete it again. I was going to set this before the Easter holidays started but as you know, I was running late with the last one.

So now I'm going to set you almost the same task but this time, I'm going to share with you some techniques for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone so that maybe, you can push yourself a bit further and make some really radical changes.

The first step to dealing with a problem is to admit you have one. If you are stuck in a particular area because of fear (it's usually fear that holds us back), admitting it to yourself and the reasons for those feelings has to come first. Sometimes, we do not admit those things even to ourselves; we hide fears even from ourselves. Instead, we procrastinate and find other reasons not to tackle a project now. Acknowledging to yourself that you are scared and why you have those fears will make it easier to tackle them. You don't have to admit them publicly if you don't want - although I often think it helps to share a problem - but do at least write down your fears. The act of committing them to paper or a screen crystallises them and trying to explain them, even to yourself, helps you to understand them. Recognising the fears will help you to overcome them. Keep your plans realistic though (remember SMART?).

Of course, once you have admitted that there is a problem, you need a plan to deal with it. Think of ways to overcome what is stopping you - whether that is smaller tasks to build up to a bigger one, or practice runs of a bigger task. Even just opening yourself up to something by offering to do it is a good start. Then, recognise when those fears kick in and analyse them. If the fears amount to not being good enough or clever enough or similar, then realise they are serving no other purpose than to hold you back. Some fears are there to protect you but many others aren't. Think carefully which ones are holding you back. If you come up with an action that genuinely scares you, write it down. Commit to it! Facing fears is a great way to overcome them.

And then, another good way to stretch your comfort zone is push it all the time. Try doing something scary, however small, every single day. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to do the bigger scarier tasks.

The fear that is most likely to hold us back is that of failure. This is a tough one because everyone has to accept that we will fail at something sometimes. No-one can guarantee success. Try to change your point of view - accept you will fail but that not trying is more a failure, and so is giving up. Failure is not the problem, and we need to accept it as a part of everyday life.

It's important to focus on what you CAN do rather than what you can't. If you want to run a marathon, focus on what you can do and how you can get there. If you think that you can't run a marathon, then you won't. If you accept that you can run a mile, you can work on a plan to reach your goal. Try to learn from others who have done it before; don't be afraid to take advice or input from others; people are generally helpful and supportive and0 learning from their mistakes will save you time and energy.

Finally, go easy on yourself. If pushing out of your comfort zone stresses you, give yourself some small rewards or treats to look after yourself. If you have to abandon your task because your fears overwhelm you, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, analyse it some more and have another go. Have a reward in mind for when you do achieve it and enjoy it with impunity.

Now I've told you all this, here's the task. Look back at everything you've done so far and try to identify an area of your life that is holding you back but dealing with it scares you. Work through why that is and make a plan to deal with it. Set yourself a substantial task related to this area to complete within a month, and then tackle it, bearing in mind the points I've made above. Tackle it in any way you want. If you want to start by doing something scary every day and make the tasks bigger, then do so, but remember your overall goal is to tackle something that you think has previously held you back.

When you've done all that, you need to blog about it and come back here to link up when I post the linky. That will be Thursday 27th April and the link will then stay open until 10th May. That gives you 3-4 weeks to play with.

Enjoy your Easter holiday and I'll see you at the end of April.

LifeCircle 2012: Stepping forward

OK, OK, I am more than a little bit late with this. Between setting the task and the day that the linky should have been published, I found out that a project I thought I'd have a couple of weeks to complete had to be done and dusted by Friday and I had to put in double my usual hours and everything went out of the window. As much as we can make plans, life sometimes throws a curveball and destroyed all our carefully laid plans. I've had a couple of days out since and I'm trying to catch up with the lack of blogging I did last week.

Many apologies if you have been waiting to link up. The linky will be here today but there will be no new task tomorrow. Instead, I'll post a new task on 7th April over the Easter weekend but this will be a longer task and you will get more than a week to do it as I have the perfect task to fill that time plus it can be our Easter break.
So, how have I been doing with my Life Plan? At the moment, I'm kind of stuck. I am making progress with work but I am waiting to find out how much work I will have over the coming months, so I'm waiting on other people. I am trying to be slightly more proactive at it as I need to be earning money so I'm trying to do more to secure the work I need to move me onwards.My task for the next week is to clarify this but it's not always easy when relying on others for answers.

My main frustration is with my health / fitness. I seem to be stagnant with my diet - I do well for a few weeks an then it goes to pot. Well, not actually to pot; it's just I'm not tracking my intake and I know that means I eat more as a result. I really really need to get a grip and yet I'm facing two weeks of Easter holidays. Recording my intake is what works best for me and I know I have to do it.

The other things I had on my lifeplan largely depend on my earnings and how I do workwise. As ever, all things lead back to money so I really need to sort that out before I can make other spending plans, especially on the car front. I have to do something about that before my tax runs out this year in August.

So, how are you doing? What have you identified as going well or going badly? What do you really need to sort out now to keep your progress going? I'm sure you all have lovely posts for me to read and again, I'm really sorry this is so late.

You have plenty of time to link up. This will stay open until 20th April (to allow people to catch up if they miss this post publishing.

Looking forward to reading your posts, and see you again on Saturday 7th for the next task.

LifeCircle 2012 - Next steps

I've just realised this is the 10th week of LifeCircle, 2012 edition. We are well into our 3rd month of moving our lives onwards. I'm wondering if this is a good point to take stock, and stir up some more action.

Not only is this our 10th task, the next week is the start of Spring. If you believe the Met Office, Spring actually started on 1st March but the more traditional first day of Spring is next Wednesday, which is the day before I open the next linky.

A few weeks back, we wrote a Life Plan  which was meant to throw up issues and things to do NOW. We've also worked on some time management techniques and that should be helping us move forward.

But is it enough?

What I want you to do this week is review how far you've come with your LifePlan, remind yourself that you're nearly a quarter of the way into your first year, and ask yourself if you feel you've moved at least a quarter of the way towards where you want to be in all areas of your life in the "one year from now" section of your LifePlan. Can you identify pressing matters you need to tackle that you've overlooked? If your progress has fallen behind, how can you get it back on track? Even if you're ahead of schedule, can you identify something that you could be tackling to keep you ahead of the game? Has something else cropped up that needs tackling before making further progress? What 3 things do you need to be tackling in the next week or so that you can actually achieve in that time? What one big thing do you need to complete soon to keep you on track? How do you feel about that?

Questions, questions - but they are all there to help direct your thinking before you do some blogging! Feel free to go off piste if you need to on this one - we are all different, facing varied issues and we might need to take different approaches sometimes. There is no right answer for all of us.

As usual, come back after Thursday when the linky will be open and will remain open until nearly Easter. Talking of Easter, LifeCircle will be taking a break over the holidays so I'll be setting a longer task soon.

LifeCircle 2012: Having me time

This post was almost a little late for me, because I've been having my me time. Ha, if only it were true! In truth, the past two weeks have been very busy and I have not been able to have as much me time as I would like. However, I've still taken some and I have me time booked into my diary for the next few weeks. Perhaps this was not the best choice of task for me at this time, but I was so busy with the run up to Monkey's birthday last week, if I had posted a linky and set another task, I would have had even less time for myself and his birthday was a lovely family time. I know that I do need to book it in advance to make it a habit so that it becomes a part of me, like the rest of my personality.

LifeCircle 2012 - Some time for me

Firstly, sincere apologies this is  so late. Yeah, I have a life! I was going to blog during Saturday but spent it doing other things and when I finally sat down, totally forgot I was supposed to be blogging. I remembered far too late to get something out on Saturday, so Sunday it will have to be. Oops.

The next task I'm setting is rather apt really. Because this is going to be a two week task - you won't need to link up this Thursday, nor will there be a new task next Saturday. This task will therefore have a linky open on Thursday 15th March. 


Why? Because it's Monkey's birthday next Friday and he has a party next Saturday. I am going to be busy with birthday and party preparations and I also need something else that is important in my life - time for me.

LifeCircle 2012 - that's a negatory right there

Well, I was going to write a post about how it's worked for me but I have come across a bit of a hitch - no-one has asked me to do anything I didn't want to do this week! I could make up a story but you wouldn't believe it so I'll be honest with you. Obviously, that means I've been great at saying no in the past as no-one now dare ask me! I think, actually, that it has more to do with the fact that I work from home and don't come into contact with many people in the course of an average week.

So, it's over to you. What's happened to you with this task? How did it feel saying no, both before and after? Did you learn anything new about yourself this week? I'd love to know.

LifeCircle 2012: Saying no

I was going to set a task that led on from last week's but I think I need to see more of your posts before I do that. (*cough* hint *cough*). However, in the meantime, I'm going to set you another task that will teach you a useful skill that you need to have in your toolbox because it will help you to achieve your goals more quickly.

That skill is saying no.

We are all so polite. We don't like to say no, even when we want to. Saying yes when you mean no can cause stress - taking on too much takes us away from the things we really want or need to do, and just adds to our to-do list. Once we learn to say no, our yes truly does mean yes and our no means no.

People don't like to be impolite, and feel they are letting others down by saying no, or saying no means they are rejecting the person asking. But unless you are Supermand or Superwoman, at some point in your life, you have to say no. If you want to stay sane, that is.

In most cases, people would actually prefer you to be straight with them. Saying no when asked is infinitely preferable to saying yes when you mean no, followed by procrastination, or deliberate avoidance, leading to issues between you and the person making the request. They will have more respect for you if you say no when you mean no rather than let them down. And saying yes without ever intending to do anything is just plain rude.

All it really takes is to stay calm and polite. There is no need to apologise, you've not done anything wrong. In many situations, a simple "No" or "No thank you" may suffice. Alternatively, you could acknowledge why someone is asking you to do something, or give a reason for saying no. For example, "I really can't take this on because work is very busy at the moment. I know why you are asking but I don't want to let you down.".

Another way is to say no for now. In the example above, you could add on the end, "Ask me again in a couple of weeks if you can't find anyone else and I might be able to do it for you if work is less busy." That puts the person off but also doesn't oblige you to take on the task. If they do ask again later, you could still say no.  If it was a lunch date you wanted to go on but really can't right now, you could just arrange another day.

What also can be successful is to find out more about what you're being asked to do and perhaps negotiate it to something more interesting or less onerous. "I can't do all of that, but if you help me, we'll get it done quicker anyway. How about that?" or "Can I just ring the top half of that list? I could manage to ring that many." are things you could say to say no without actually saying no!

If all else fails, and the person making the request is persistent and keeps asking or trying to persuading you to agree, then adopt what they call "the broken record approach". Just keep saying the same thing over and over again - no need for explanation. This actually works really well with children, although it's often much harder to stay calm and polite with a demanding child who won't take no for an answer!

Now you know all that about saying no, it's time for you to practice. Stay aware over the next few days and if someone asks you to do something you don't want to do or you feel you shouldn't be doing, have a go at turning them down using one of the techniques mentioned above. Don't ever feel you have to say yes to everything and think hard about whether you overcommit as a matter of course. Ask yourself what good it does you not to say no just to keep everyone else happy because usually, it comes at a cost - your happiness (and your free time!).

Try it out as many times as you like, then blog about how it went, how you felt, and whether you got better at it the more times you do it. In some ways, this is like the previous task, because for a lot of people, saying no pushes them right out of their comfort zone. Stick with it though. I know you can do it.

As we're back to normal now, the linky will be published on Thursday, but will remain open for two weeks in case you need more time to practice turning people down and listening to yourself say no.

Just say no. You'll be glad you did.

LifeCircle 2012: The discomfort zone

I have to be honest, I'd actually completed this task by the time I set it, but it was the act of doing it that gave me the idea for the post.

On 10th February, I was on the radio.

A long, long time ago, I was involved slightly in student radio. I presented a music show on University Radio Nottingham in what can only be described as the graveyard hour - the two hours straight after the chart show had been broadcast on Sunday night, a time when people turned the radio off and turned the telly on. I'm pretty sure my main radio rival was Annie Nightingale and really, I couldn't stand up to her. Still, I had fun but it was a short-lived affair. I was talking to my peers effectively and I was probably too young to be scared. Now, it's a different thing - I am very conscious of how I sound and I don't want to end up coming over as an idiot.

LifeCircle 2012: Plus ultra

I think I intrigued you all in Thursday's post about what the task was about today. This is quite a biggie but I don't want you to be scared. In fact, what is under the microscope in this task is not the task itself, it's the process and how you deal with it.

You're probably wondering about the title. Plus ultra is a motto, which means "further beyond". You could call it "pushing the envelope" but that sounds a bit management speak to me. 

I'm talking about going beyond your comfort zone. We all have a comfort zone - things we are happy doing because they don't make us anxious. This is because they don't have an element of risk or if they do, we are happy with the risk the task or activity poses because we don't feel it's risky. It's different for different people - we all know daredevils who take massive risks quite regularly. 

The problem is, our comfort zone can very often hold us back. After all, if you don't take risks, how can you actually change your life? Testing our comfort zone is a good thing to do regularly, to understand how we respond to taking risks and how we can manage it. Taking risks shouldn't put us into a massive state of anxiety; certainly not for very long anyway. 

I've scared you now, haven't I? Read on. 

Your task is this: 

- I want you to set yourself a task that you know takes you out of your comfort zone. If you don't know what that is, look at the things you need to be doing now and pick out something you keep putting off, or makes you anxious or nervous just thinking about it. Make it one that is useful and relevant to the things you need to do on your plan so that you will feel like you've really achieved something by completing it.

- Commit to tackling and completing this in the time allowed for this task. Remember you have a long time for this one - the linky doesn't open until 23rd February and remains open until 8th March, meaning you have nearly a month to complete this although it would be useful to see as many posts as possible around the time that the linky opens.

- You might want to record how you feel after you've committed to doing this task and during the process.

- Complete the task as best you can and notice how you felt during the process.

- When you blog, explain what feelings you had, whether you showed any physical or other signs of anxiety at any point, whether you were able to control those feelings or signs.

- Note also how you felt after completing the task.

- I want you to try your best to complete the task but if you really can't, then mention that too, how that came about, and how your feelings changed from the point you committed to the task to the point where you realised you couldn't do it. 

Let me also make it clear - you don't HAVE to share with everyone what the task is or was. Obviously, we'd all love to share in the successes of these completed tasks but we don't necessarily need all the details. 

Go easy on yourselves - I want to make clear now that anyone that doesn't get their task completed is most definitely NOT a failure. What is important is for you to understand why that happened and how you reacted to the thought of doing the task, and how you felt after you realised you wouldn't complete your task. That is going to be just as important to me to this process as people pushing themselves and succeeding. By the way, if you do complete your task, ask yourself if your task was challenging enough. If not, why not? Is it because you don't trust yourself to complete it, or you don't believe that you are capable of more? Did you surprise yourself how you dealt with it? What have you learned from this task? This is as much about self-awareness as it is about finishing the task. 

Good luck, people. I'll see you on the other side. Twelve days and counting until that linky opens. You can do it. 

LifeCircle 2012: Managing your time - the aftermath

How did you get on? I've been busy beavering away this week and got lots done. I'm currently using Toodledo to manage my to-do list and been working through everything. It's not totally gone to plan but taking the time to plan out what I'm doing when makes me more effective.

Do let me know how it went for you. If it didn't work for you, and something else didn't, feel free to say so. I won't be offended. Nothing is right for everybody - this is all about what works for you. Maybe just the discipline of writing a list was enough. What worked and what were the results? How much more did you get done this week and how does that make you feel about your ability to change the aspects of your life that you want to change?

LifeCircle 2012 - Managing your time

I have had very little time to digest the posts so far from Thursday but there seems to be a bit of support building for help with time management, so that's what I'm going to attempt. Actually, that might be impossible really as there are as many ways to manage your time effectively as there are people on this earth. What I will do is suggest a method for you to try that might work for you.

The first part is to have a to do list. It can be on paper, on your phone, online, however best you want to manage it. It really doesn't have to be fancy. You just need somewhere or something on which to record the things you have to do. Having some central place that you can refer to will help you focus on what needs to be done. Include as much as possible. If it's not on the list, it's not getting done! OK, maybe not your ablutions, but you know what I mean.

The only problem with that is it can be a bit daunting and in what order do you tackle your to do list? I'm going to suggest a way to manage this. Some people call it the "Urgent-Important Matrix" but it's just a grid really. Here it is.

You could just draw a grid and plot things according to whether they are urgent and whether they are important. Then you know you need to start with all the important, urgent things. If you have lots of those to tackle, then revert to starting with the ones with the shortest deadlines. How do you decide what's important? Well, that really is up to you, but things you just do every day that don't contribute towards you reaching your goals probably isn't. Things like that, falling into the bottom right box, are probably best dealt with by allocating some time to dealing with them every day - like an admin or housework half hour or a time at work each week when you deal with them. If you can, get someone else to do them! If you can't, and you find they are stopping you achieving urgent things, then consider if they really are of low importance.

The top left box is probably full of longer term things you want to do. Try to ensure you do work on them when you can - what you should find by being more focussed is that you will deal with the urgent and important things quicker and this should allow more time for this. Of course, anything in the bottom right corner should be ignored. It may be that they are tasks or things that other people want you to do. If this is the case, feel vindicated in saying a polite but firm "No" to them. And stand your ground. I suspect that might be a whole other post!

If I have a really long list of things to do, I sort them into a list by what I consider to be most urgent and I allocate times to work on them. So, if I'm starting work at 9.30 and I estimate it's going to take me an hour to complete the first task I'm planning to work on, I'll allocate 9.30-10.30 to and work down my list adding in the times. I find that this gives me something to aim for so there is less chance of becoming distracted, but also, it gives me the chance to recognise what I can realistically achieve in my day so that I don't overcommit or give myself too little to do. And if I get more things done than I plan to, I feel really good.

So, what's the task today then? I want you to put this into practice over the next few days. See how it works for you. Then blog about how it's gone. Did you find it time-consuming? Was that time worth it? Did you get more done? How did it make you feel about progressing towards your goals?

Then remember to come back here on Thursday to link up, although as ever, the linky will stay open for two weeks, which takes you all the way through to 23rd February and may give you time to try out the techniques for longer. And don't forget, I'll set a task next Saturday that you will have nearly two weeks to complete as I won't be publishing the linky until 23rd February so we can all take a step back from full-on self-improvement!

Good luck and I can't wait to see how you get on with this.

LifeCircle 2012 - Progress report

Having done our life plans, it's time to return to the actions you committed to two weeks ago. Well, it might not be two weeks right now but it should be by the time the linky is published next Thursday.

What I want you to do is report back on:

- whether you completed your actions or not, whether they are partially completed or whether you have not even started. Come on now, be honest! It will be useful for future reference.
- how it went when working on your actions.
- how you felt about doing them,
- if you didn't complete your actions, explain why you didn't and how you feel about that. Again, be honest. If you procrastinated because you were scared of tackling issues, please do say so.
- whether completing your actions has made you feel different about the issues you were tackling, aspects of your life or your life in general.

I am really interested in barriers so the more honest feedback I get on why you might have not managed to complete your actions, the more I can help you later on. If you feel uncomfortable sharing that with your readers, I'd still like to know so I'm happy for you to email me with this. Don't worry, I'm not going to be telling you off: I just need to know the issues so we can work on them in future tasks.

I bet you thought this week was going to be easy, didn't you? Well, this is what LifeCircle is all about; pushing yourself a little bit.

Get writing those posts, publish and come back on Thursday to link up. I can't wait to read them, I think there are going to be some interesting reads.

LifeCircle 2012: Life Plan

I guess you've come here to read my life plan. I've written it before. It therefore might look pretty similar to that as it's only a few months later. Remember, it's ideal lives we're talking about so I'm hoping you're all using lots of positive language in your posts. I shall be checking your work later, she said in her best schoolmistress voice.

We'll start, as before, with five years from now. By then, Monkey will be 11, nearly 12 and Missy Woo 10. Monkey will have just started at high school, one that we believe is right for him. Missy will be in Year 6 and due to follow her brother the following year.

LifeCircle 2012: Let's do a lifeplan

I hope you're all busy beavering away with your actions you set after this week's post. We're going to put that to one side because if you remember, I gave you TWO WEEKS to complete your actions. We will return to that later.

No, this week, we are going to return to another exercise that we did before - writing a life plan. If you did this last year, feel free to skip and come back next week. However, you may find it useful to revisit the life plan you wrote then and review how you feel about it and whether, already, you need to change it. Life plans are living documents and they are only plans - things may change, life circumstances may change, you may change. There is therefore no shame in changing it.

If you didn't do it before, I'm not going to write all the instructions again - they are here. And they haven't changed. So there! You'll be using the results from your Wheel of Life exercise but if you're joining late, you may want to whizz back and do the exercise before you do this as it will help you, although you can write a life plan without it.

As I wrote before, you don't have to share the full details of your life plan with anyone. Give as much detail about it as you wish to give when you write about this exercise. But do ask yourself these questions:

Did this exercise throw up an issue you need to be tackling now that you've never realised is quite so urgent? How does your ideal life look?
Did it surprise you?
Has it spurred you into taking action already?
How does having a clear vision of your ideal life in 5 years time make you feel - about your life now, and your future?

Write your post, then come back here next Thursday and link up, as ever.

Good luck, everyone. Have fun life planning. 

Life Circle 2012: Action

This is not the post I was going to publish. I worked through the task as I set it and I wrote a post. I admit that I found it difficult to write. To be honest with myself. To work it through. But I managed it, and I committed it to cyberspace.

BUT

I looked back and I realised that I couldn't publish it as it was. I couldn't share it with my readers. It was too personal and a bit painful. I felt uncomfortable at the thought of baring that much to the world, there for any passing person to read.

So I started again, and this is it. I considered for a while if I could do a cut down version but every time I started, I wanted to include more and more. Needless to say, my head is a lot clearer for writing it; I am just not up for sharing it. Maybe I'll blog about it one day. Maybe I won't. I hope my readers will understand my reasons for doing this. This, after all, is one of the principles of Life Circle - we are only sharing what we are happy to share.

That's me. Move along now, not much to see. Sorry. 

How did you get on? Do join in with by blogging what you want to share about the exercise and linking up below. The linky will stay open for 2 weeks so don't worry if you don't get it done straight away. Please come back on Saturday when I will set the next task.

Before I go, and give you the linky, I thought I would let you know that we'll carry on weekly until the February half term. When I set that task (on 11th February), the linky won't appear until the Thursday after, which is 23rd February. Then, we'll revert to what should feel like the usual routine.

Right, get linking. Please remember that I've set the linky up to open at 6am after the post publishes and then is open until 2nd February.

LifeCircle 2012: Taking action

Apologies for being late with this, folks. I was busy having a life yesterday and started this before I went to bed last night, meaning to come back to it this morning. Then I forgot. I come back to the post today and nothing was there so I'm having to start all over again. Many apologies.

So, next task here we come and I want to build on the last exercise. Hopefully, as a result of doing your Wheel of Life, you have identified areas of life that need your attention as a matter of priority. We're going to tackle them this week, or at least make a start.

What I want you to do is take one or two areas of your life that you have identified as more urgent and analyse them. It's up to you if you choose one or two; I really don't mind. Generally, they will be the ones with the lowest scores but they don't have to be. That's because sometimes we give a low score but the reasons for that are beyond our control and we're prepared to accept that, at least temporarily, it is low but it's not a priority to change it because either circumstances will change because of other people and events, or at some point in the future, there will be something that you can do to change it.

I want you to consider the area(s) chosen and analyse them using something we used before last year, the TGROW model. Consider why the score is as you gave it and what you can do to make it better. Don't forget to consider the reality - why haven't you done anything before? What has prevented this score recently? Has it changed (if you did it before) and why? What might stop you taking action now?

As a result of this, I want you to commit to two actions per area (ie maximum 4 actions) that can be completed within a fortnight. Don't worry about taking action before you publish your post. In fact, DON'T. When you set your actions, make sure they are neither too easy nor too hard. Give yourself a bit of a challenge but don't make it too hard. Remember even small actions are goals too, and they should be SMART.

Don't forget to come back and tell us how it went. By the way as a rule, this exercise should take around an hour so don't spend hours over thinking it. And then, come back here on Thursday when the linky will be published and you can read everyone's posts. The linky will be open for two weeks so there is no need to rush if you are a little behind. And as always, you only need to blog what you are happy sharing with your readers.

Good luck with the task, and see you all on Thursday.

LifeCircle 2012 - Wheel of Life, revisited

So, if you were around in late September, you'll have done this before so doing this again feels like meeting an old friend. However, I've almost been procrastinating about doing it but I can't put my finger on why. The fact I dislike the period after my birthday until the end of January does not help with this so I am expecting lower scores than before all round.  I've been trying not to look at my previous scores so I'm not influenced by them but I'll compare once I've finished. As before, I have a self-imposed rule not to blog about my relationship so I will skip that but the other scores are there. Here's the squiggly line bit:

Fun and Recreation - 6. We do have fun but what limits us is finances. We're very lucky and I know we are blessed with the blogging opportunities that come our way. I'd like to have a bit more fun and not to have to think about whether we can afford a treat or not. I don't want to shower the children with everything, I just want to go mad a little occasionally.

Career - 7.  You probably know this by now, but I started my own business working as a virtual assistant last ear. That is code for I'm available for someone to use my services - my business is just me, working from home with my computer. I do love what I'm doing although I'm still learning the juggling bit as when I've been busier, it's been hard to fit everything in. I have had more work recently but this looks like it won't continue. That means there is pressure on me to find more work soon as I need to earn more to keep our finances on track. But the fact I enjoy the work is a big plus for me, as is the fact I can work from home, be here for the children and don't have to rely on other childcare arrangements.

Health - 5. I know I have given myself a lower score from this. Generally, I am fine and have no major illnesses. What is bugging me is my weight. I don't weigh myself but I know it's going back up and I don't feel in control of it. Yes, I know we all put weight on over Christmas - although to be honest, I paced myself Christmas Day and didn't do too badly. But it's not just about that and I know it's creeping back. I still go to class 3 times a week but I know I have got to control this and stop getting back to very old, very bad habits.  I've been trying to eat healthily since Christmas but I am seriously hungry in the evenings which is a bit worrying.

Personal Development - 9.  I am pretty happy with this aspect of my life. My job means I'm learning new things all the time. I have a philosophy of lifelong learning so even if I am not actually studying for a paper qualification, I always try to learn. I don't need any major qualifications to do my job, and anyway I don't think I could afford to go off and get any more qualifications at the moment.

Friends and Family - 8. I am reasonably happy with this. As I said before in September, I'd like to have some more friends locally who I could go for a coffee with from time to time, although I have met some great people through blogging which has really enriched my life. My family - well, it is what it is. No family is perfect and we are the same, and much is beyond my control so I'm not going to worry about it.

Environment - 7. I love living where we do. I'd like more money to decorate and do some more things to make the house better so again, I'm constrained by money. I'd like there to be less clutter. *glowers at children who drop toys everywhere* And over the next few years, we'll need to decide if we do stay here or  move as we're just outside the catchment for the school most of the children's classmates would move onto, although both options are good schools. And I'm well aware things can change in the time, which is less than 4 years away, before we have to decide and choose where they go.

Finance - 4. I know this is same as last time as I feel this has not really changed, I've just survived for longer. I need to earn more money and I just want to be more comfortable than I am, I hate worrying about money. It impacts on other aspects of my life - it's impacting my scores for Fun and Recreation, Environment and Career. It's tough - I know that if I had a job, I'd be less happy with it and how it would keep me away from  the children but it would remove the pressure to earn to an extent. It is the eternal dilemma.

My squiggle turned out fairly square - generally, the scores are mid to high and I know that my two key areas are Finance and Health, and some work on Career may help the Finance aspect. Other than that, the scores are pretty similar - nothing else has changed dramatically. That's good because I wasn't as negative as I feared I might be.

How did you do? How did you find this exercise? Did any of the results surprise you? If you did the exercise before, what has changed and why? Can you see any progress since last time or has one area of life had a setback?

Do join in with by blogging what you want to share about the exercise and linking up below. The linky will stay open for 2 weeks so don't worry if you don't get it done straight away.


I'll set the next week's task on Saturday so come back and check it out then. I can't wait to read your posts.

LifeCircle: Introduction

So, this week, we're just introducing ourselves. Who we are, what we're about, where we're coming from, and where we're headed. Why we're here. What we want to achieve out of joining LifeCircle. My turn first.

Hopefully, you know me, if not in person, then courtesy of this blog. I am Kate and tomorrow, I turn 47. That sounds bloody terrifying actually - more so than turning 45 or 40 etc. I am married, my husband works in the NHS. I have two lovely children, that you've probably read about before - Monkey will soon be 7 and Missy Woo will be 6 in the summer.

For over 20 years, I worked in a variety of jobs in IT. In 2009, following a TUPE transfer and seeing the writing on the wall, I took redundancy. Since then? Well, I've been at home, doing odds and bits but also being mummy to Monkey and Missy Woo. Since Missy Woo started school, I've been looking around seriously for something I can do that fits around them and it's not easy, partly because of hubby's NHS shifts which mean that if I were to get a job and arrange regular childcare, it wouldn't be necessary half the time. After not being sure what I really wanted to do, I finally decided to try and make a go of being a virtual assistant and I've been lucky enough to get work doing just that, with a slightly more technical bias thanks to my IT background. Technically, I have a business which I call Jellybean Business Support. I'm doing quite well with it - my clients are happy with my work and there is a possibility of more work based on my clients' recommendations to others. I do need to increase the chargeable hours I work so that we can put our finances on a more even keel. I don't necessarily want to be very rich, just not have to think about whether we can really afford certain things.

Why am I here and what do I want to achieve? I need that push to take me onwards in 2012. I've got stuck with losing weight and feel I'm putting weight on again so that has to stop and I need to adopt healthier eating habits, I need to promote my business a bit more and secure more work on a regular basis. I want to do some more work on the house but I need to be able to afford it first! And obviously, LifeCircle was my idea so I think it's a great way to get that group support and push myself a little bit.

Now it's your turn. Tell the world about you and what you're hoping to do this year. Did you get anything out of writing the post? Let me know in the comments if you haven't already mentioned it on your post.

Don't forget to come back on Saturday, when I'll have another task for you to tackle next week. Onwards and upwards, friends. We're off on a journey.

LifeCircle 2012: Who's joining me this year?

It's nearly New Year and we all set resolutions. Well, maybe not everyone but it's a very reflective time with the year changing and there may be changes you want to make about your life but you know you need a little push to get going. This is the reason I started LifeCircle - I set various tasks to help you reflect on what it is you need to change and start to work on the changes that you really want.

Whether you joined in last year, either fully or fell by the wayside, whether you never quite got round to joining in but wanted to, or whether now is the time for you to start changing things in your life, then this is for you. I really don't mind. I just want people joining in, and supporting each other. There are few rules - just write your post, add the badge and link up your post. Apologies now if some of the tasks  from 2011 are repeated - feel free to skip the task if you don't want to repeat but some of them may be useful to revisit if you did them before. 

I have decided to change it this year as setting a task and writing my own response in one post got too much for me, and setting the task one week and publishing it the next felt too slow. So, from now on, it will work like this: I will set a task on a Saturday, hence the post today. I will then post the following Thursday, which is when you can link up your posts. I've changed the provider of my linkies so we'll see how it goes but they will close two weeks after publication. This should give you enough time to post but also encourage you to get your post . If you do fall behind and the linky has closed, you can still add the link in the comment under the post. 

If you're new to LifeCircle, then please read the first post I wrote about it here, as it contains some guidelines you need to bear in mind. They are not rules as such, but keep them in mind and they will help you with the process. When you publish your post, don't forget to add the badge, which you can find on the LifeCircle page.

All this stuff and I still haven't told you what we're doing this week! It's quite simple really. I want everyone to introduce themselves. Who we are, what we're about, where we're coming from, and where we're headed. Why we're here. What we want to achieve out of joining LifeCircle. Why? Because I think it will be useful for us to do a little bit of team-building. A little bit of background, however much you want to give, will help with that. Think of this as the ice-breaker at the start of a course. Include some funny things if you like, anything really, it doesn't have to be relevant to what you want to achieve; just something that you think displays the measure of YOU. 

As always, only share what you are comfortable sharing with the rest of our LifeCircle. Even if you cut out so much that it doesn't really make sense, publish it! The discipline of working through the tasks and writing a post, however limited it may be, will be enough because it's more about what goes on in your head than what you share with everyone else. Some people started up blogs just to post LifeCircle posts and that helped them to retain their anonymity. That's fine. You do whatever you want. I'm prepared to host anonymous posts related to LifeCircle too. I'm also always available via email or twitter if you want to discuss something you're struggling with. 

It's a New Year. Let's make it an amazing one for all of us. The longest journey starts with a single step. Let's take that first step. I dare you!