Doing housework with your children - some dos and don'ts

DO


Give them a duster and polish when they say they want to do the dusting whilst you're still doing the kitchen. You'll love it when they come back 15 minutes later with a now empty can of polish and two sodden dusters.

Allow them to have a go at vacuuming upstairs whilst you continue downstairs. They won't make the spare room a worse mess at all trying to get it out. Their screams and giggles will suggest they're having a great time, not trying to administer death by suction.

Actually check what they have claimed to have done. Their attention spans are short and so the fourth room they claim to have dusted might still be quite dusty. Or not dusted at all.

Give them different jobs to do. One can be happily assigned to asking constant questions, whilst the other can be assigned to mucking up the task in hand. This will ensure the chores will get done in half the time. Or maybe twice.

DON'T

Set a time limit for finishing the job. Housework is a good way to fill a whole rainy day and keep your children amused.

Supervise them too closely as this will give them a sense of independence. Also known as slacking off what you've just asked them to do.

Offer bribes to get them to help you. Children are usually willing participants. Oh, but there is chocolate. (Don't mention it's their own Easter eggs...)

Forget to have a plentiful supply of tea, coffee and biscuits. For you. (Oh, and wine in the fridge for later.)

And finally...

DO worry if they simultaneously go quiet for more than 30 seconds and a television, smartphone or computer is not involved. (This applies to all parenting, not just housework!)

Photo credit - lusi

Meal Planning Monday - the post-Easter edition!

Hope you had a lovely Easter and aren't too sick from chocolate overload. We've had a quiet one thanks to work (husband's not mine!) but we've another week of school holidays to go. This week is a mix of things I wanted to try making or am trying to perfect - you might have seen the Thai fish pie a few weeks back; well, I'm trying out my own version of it that is a) cheaper b) healthier and c) more family friendly - ie not as hot and more acceptable to children's palates. When I get it right, I'll blog the recipe

Here's our week.

Monday -  Garlic mushroom and turkey bake
Tuesday - Mushroom stroganoff
Wednesday - Bolognese bake
Thursday - Vegetarian sausage, butternut squash and pepper stew
Friday - Thai fish pie
Saturday - Lemon spiced chicken with chickpeas
Sunday - keeping free

And don't forget that you can find more Meal Planning Monday entries at Mrs M's place but before you go, take a few minutes to tell me what you're having this week.

LifeCircle 2012 - Dealing with your comfort zone

Hello, and welcome back to LifeCircle 2012. Do you remember a while back when I got you to do something out of your comfort zone? Well, I promised a follow-up task to it but I needed to give you a while to complete it again. I was going to set this before the Easter holidays started but as you know, I was running late with the last one.

So now I'm going to set you almost the same task but this time, I'm going to share with you some techniques for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone so that maybe, you can push yourself a bit further and make some really radical changes.

The first step to dealing with a problem is to admit you have one. If you are stuck in a particular area because of fear (it's usually fear that holds us back), admitting it to yourself and the reasons for those feelings has to come first. Sometimes, we do not admit those things even to ourselves; we hide fears even from ourselves. Instead, we procrastinate and find other reasons not to tackle a project now. Acknowledging to yourself that you are scared and why you have those fears will make it easier to tackle them. You don't have to admit them publicly if you don't want - although I often think it helps to share a problem - but do at least write down your fears. The act of committing them to paper or a screen crystallises them and trying to explain them, even to yourself, helps you to understand them. Recognising the fears will help you to overcome them. Keep your plans realistic though (remember SMART?).

Of course, once you have admitted that there is a problem, you need a plan to deal with it. Think of ways to overcome what is stopping you - whether that is smaller tasks to build up to a bigger one, or practice runs of a bigger task. Even just opening yourself up to something by offering to do it is a good start. Then, recognise when those fears kick in and analyse them. If the fears amount to not being good enough or clever enough or similar, then realise they are serving no other purpose than to hold you back. Some fears are there to protect you but many others aren't. Think carefully which ones are holding you back. If you come up with an action that genuinely scares you, write it down. Commit to it! Facing fears is a great way to overcome them.

And then, another good way to stretch your comfort zone is push it all the time. Try doing something scary, however small, every single day. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to do the bigger scarier tasks.

The fear that is most likely to hold us back is that of failure. This is a tough one because everyone has to accept that we will fail at something sometimes. No-one can guarantee success. Try to change your point of view - accept you will fail but that not trying is more a failure, and so is giving up. Failure is not the problem, and we need to accept it as a part of everyday life.

It's important to focus on what you CAN do rather than what you can't. If you want to run a marathon, focus on what you can do and how you can get there. If you think that you can't run a marathon, then you won't. If you accept that you can run a mile, you can work on a plan to reach your goal. Try to learn from others who have done it before; don't be afraid to take advice or input from others; people are generally helpful and supportive and0 learning from their mistakes will save you time and energy.

Finally, go easy on yourself. If pushing out of your comfort zone stresses you, give yourself some small rewards or treats to look after yourself. If you have to abandon your task because your fears overwhelm you, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, analyse it some more and have another go. Have a reward in mind for when you do achieve it and enjoy it with impunity.

Now I've told you all this, here's the task. Look back at everything you've done so far and try to identify an area of your life that is holding you back but dealing with it scares you. Work through why that is and make a plan to deal with it. Set yourself a substantial task related to this area to complete within a month, and then tackle it, bearing in mind the points I've made above. Tackle it in any way you want. If you want to start by doing something scary every day and make the tasks bigger, then do so, but remember your overall goal is to tackle something that you think has previously held you back.

When you've done all that, you need to blog about it and come back here to link up when I post the linky. That will be Thursday 27th April and the link will then stay open until 10th May. That gives you 3-4 weeks to play with.

Enjoy your Easter holiday and I'll see you at the end of April.

Missy Woo's Spring makeover

I never realised how much Missy Woo considered that her long hair was part of her identity, until it was suggested to her that it be cut off (not by me). A case of lice that wouldn't go because of all that hair - lots of fine hair that hid the little beggars.

Missy Woo was horrified by the thought of being short-haired. "That's for boys," she declared and was visibly upset. I checked with my hairdresser who confirmed that cutting it short wouldn't solve the problem anyway. She also has a double crown which needs longer hair to stop her having the cute but babyish quiff she had in the first year of her life. I got uber-thorough with the head lice treatment and finally got rid.

Still, her hair was becoming a nuisance to manage. She was forever getting food in it and it was a nuisance to look after. I managed to convince her that cutting a good couple of inches off wouldn't make her look like a boy, and it would be easier to keep tidy. So, the first day of the holidays, off we trotted to the salon, something Missy Woo considers a big treat. Nothing to do with the drink and sweets she gets. Oh no.

Someone looks rather pleased with her new haircut, doesn't she? Long enough to look girly, but easier to manage.

Don't tell her the stylist actually took nearer 3 inches off the length. Funnily enough, her head feels lighter. 

And then, just to up the cute factor, the second of her two top front teeth came out.

A smile that says "Yay, the tooth fairy is coming!" 

Testing and tuition - is it right for small children?

Holiday homework. It seems wrong but that's what we've got for Monkey - 3 books to read, some maths and some words. Oh yes, of course, it's SATs next term. Until now, the teacher has not been very pushy about their SATs but a note in his bag says she doesn't want them to be rusty when they return. I know that SATs are marked by the school these days but personally I'm uncomfortable with testing children as young as 6 - well, at least to make a big deal of it anyway. When you hear of parents issuing "incentives" to children of that age to "do well" in them, I feel that something is wrong.

Last week, I was offered some tuition for the children in return for a review. They hadn't got the ages of my children wrong, their tuition is aimed at 5 - 14 year olds; basically, from the moment they enter school through until high school. This was mentioned in association with issues of children worrying about tests or exams or to improve their confidence.

Firstly, I find it extremely sad that young children could be worried about tests or exams. The pressure to do well in them can only be external at that age - what child understands what a standard is? KS1 SATs results are not published nor are they externally marked  (KS1 is Key Stage 1, which ends by the end of the school year in which they turn 7, just in case you didn't know). Doing well in SATs is great, but nor is doing badly a huge problem. School have underplayed the tests so far but I understand that they have an interest in the children doing well, because that is how they are judged by others, which can affect how many children come to the school and ultimately, how much money they get. I feel lucky that I believe that at our school, they just want the children to achieve what they are capable of, rather than pushing them to over-achieve.

As for confidence, you may remember I blogged about this problem with Missy Woo six months ago although it seems like longer. We overcame it by speaking with the teacher who came up with some new approaches which worked a treat, but also by giving her a boost at home. Since then, she's just got better as she's realised she can read and it's been beautiful to observe. I'm sure many children need a confidence boost from time to time and I suspect most problems can be solved by giving the children help, love and support, with parents working with the teachers. Does extra tuition need to be part of the solution? I doubt it.

You may say that I'm lucky in that I don't need tuition for my children. I'm not worried about SATs. Perversely, Monkey seems to enjoy tests and treats them as a challenge, which is great. He knows we expect him to try his best, rather than set a standard to live up to that he doesn't understand. All he cares about is what reading level he is on compared to his friends.

Would I consider tuition at his age if he wasn't doing well? No. To me, that suggests that parents aren't happy with their child's progress and don't feel that school can resolve them, which is equally sad. I'd like to think that I'd be working with school in that position and discussing it with the teachers. If you can't, that's a pretty fundamental problem that I don't believe extra tuition alone can solve. I don't blame the people offering tuition; they are only offering a service because there is a demand.

Of course, as well as SATs this year for year 2, Missy Woo in year 1 will be subjected to a  new phonics test in June. She will still be 5 when she is tested and as one of the first pupils to take this test, no-one really knows what to expect, although it is believed to be quite rigorous. I hope she will take this in her stride as she is much less confident about tests than her brother but her overall reading is already ahead of what is expected of her age. No-one yet knows what happens if children don't reach the expected standard, something two thirds of pupils failed to do in pilot tests.

As I said in my polite refusal of the review of tuition, I don't believe in pushing my children hard, so the maths sheets will get done as a very low key activity as and when it suits; this is a holiday after all. For all the testing that children are facing next term, I think it's far more important for them to have a love of learning and reading at their age than them to achieve a standard set by someone else.

Isn't that what school is about?

What do you think? Is your child facing a test next term in year 1 or year 2? How has school approached these tests and what preparations are you aware of? Is your child worried about these tests and if so, why or how do they feel worried? Would you consider, or have you considered, tuition for a child aged 5 to 7? If so, why? Do please have your say below. 


Photo credit beni_bb

Giving credit where it's due - how to make things right the right way

Back: Danny Ward, Alex Smithies & Alan Lee.
Front: Jordan Rhodes & two new signings

A while back, I experienced what it was like when the reaction to a blog post goes almost viral. Everyone reads it, it gets talked about,  passed around and causes a bit of a stir. That post was my review of the family facilities at Huddersfield Town. The home fans very quickly picked up on it and soon, thanks to Twitter, it had come to the attention of their commercial director Sean Jarvis, who promptly invited me to a meeting to discuss my experiences. In the meantime, the local paper even published a story about it!

Meal Planning Monday - the Easter edition

Oh yes. It seems about a month since our last holiday but Easter is this week! Husband is off this week but we're not planning to do much - and he's working bank shifts on the bank holidays to earn money to pay for our summer holiday. I've picked out a few new things to try - they seem vaguely summery actually, even though it looks like a wet - and cold - start to the week. Damn.