Life Circle - The Wheel of Life

Are you ready? Off we go. It's going to be one hell of a ride! I hope this week's task was thought-provoking and useful to you. What you have probably found is that one area you're particularly unhappy with can have knock-on effects on other areas of your life, and also, that this exercise provides a focus for your thinking about what you want to change. You already know these things about yourself but they are there in the background. Most of the time, this exercise brings those issues into the foreground and they give a clearer indication of what it is that needs to change first that will have a huge effect on other areas of your life - what they call a quick win, although some solutions are not so quick, I'll admit.

Anyway, here's my Wheel of Life and some comments about the scores I want to talk about. One of my self-imposed rules on this blog is not to talk about my relationship, so I will skip talking about that on here. As I have said before, only share with your blog readers and other Life Circlers what you feel comfortable sharing. Excuse the hamfisted drawing but I wanted to use the same image! The exact scores I've given are below.

Fun and Recreation - 6. I'm generally happy with this area of my life; blogging events seem to provide plenty of opportunities to do things for me. What limits us as a family is money, so I'm sure I'd be happier if we had more disposable income and felt we could treat ourselves every now and then. When your "treat" is a coffee out, you know that you're limited in cash.

Career - 6. I started a business doing VA and business support work about 6 months ago and I've been building up working with one particular client. These last few months have taught me two things: 1) that I love doing it and want to do more but 2) I need to earn more money for the sake of our finances. I need to do more work for my existing client and find some new ones as well. I'd like to use some of the skills I learned in my 22 years in the IT sector, partly because I know that will pay more than the VA work but also to keep my knowledge current. For most of my working life, I loved working in IT - it just became quite family unfriendly when I had the children and with my husband working shifts, childcare would be quite complicated to arrange unless it was fully flexible.

Health - 7. Good but room for improvement. I'm much fitter than I was this time last year, thanks to regular exercise classes. But my goal is to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes (which are size 12) and I'm still a size 14.  I don't know how to attack this - I seem stuck but I excuse it by saying I'm having a life and not doing faddy crash diets.

Personal Development - 9. I'm actually happy with this area of my life, mainly because I feel like I learn something new every day, whether it be about my work, blogging, or parenting. I don't feel the need to go and get any more qualifications (and anyway, I couldn't afford to take on a course) and I just feel that I have a learning mentality so I will always be looking to learn new things.

Friends and Family - 7.5 I have a good set of friends. I sometimes wish I had a few more friends locally that I could meet up with more regularly for coffee and I feel I am in transition from one set of friends to another with the move to school. I have the odd issue with family that I wouldn't dream of discussing here but they are mostly outside of my control so there is no point working on it.

Environment - 6. I love our home, I've lived here for 12 years and have good neighbours. It needs a few things doing to it, but once again we are back to putting it off for lack of money. Over the next few years, we'll need to decide what we want to do about secondary schools which may involve moving. I'm not saying we will - but most of the children's schoolmates live within the catchment of a different secondary school to us. But I'm well aware things can change in the 4 years before we have to decide what to do. And I would just like the house to be less cluttered and tidier, we're overrun with toys.

Money - 4. For me, this is the key area. I've managed to spin my redundancy money out from 2009 but it's fast running out. I'm good with money so I try to budget but I know our outgoings are bigger than our income. I have everything compared to down to the cheapest going - it's not that we are excessively spending, it's just that it all adds up. I know that we cannot live on my husband's salary alone and the money has given us a breathing space until now. We still have a bit but I have one eye on it and watching my balance drop alarmingly is terrifying, for me anyway. Apart from the mortgage, I have no major debts but that could easily change if I don't start earning more money. I don't ask for much - I don't want to be a millionaire, but I feel much more comfortable when I don't have to think about every single purchase I make, which is what I'm having to do now. I'd like us to be able to go on holiday yearly, but I can't see that happening next year at the moment. And as you can see from the other scores, it's impacting on  Environment, Career (which are interchangeable really - to resolve the money issue, I need to do more work), and Fun & Recreation.

It's obvious that there's lots of things I'd like to improve but they are all in balance and I'm reasonably happy with them, but the money situation is impacting some of them and that area is what I need to focus on first and foremost to see the biggest improvements in in the short to medium term, in conjunction with developing my career and business.

So, now it's your turn. If you haven't done already, then complete your Wheel of Life, write what you've learned from the exercise, include the badge so others can find the rest of the posts in the Life Circle, publish your post then link it up below so others can have a read and offer their support. I'm hoping the Linky will stay open as long as possible so please feel free to come back to join in at any time. Don't feel obliged to leave a comment after linking up but obviously, I would welcome feedback from the rest of the Life Circle. (By the way, where it says your name, feel free to use your blog title rather than your actual name!)

If you are joining in with Life Circle, please do read some of the other posts if you can. It doesn't have to be all of them - 2 or 3 will do - but you might want to visit more for this week, in order to introduce yourself to other people joining in with the Life Circle and to get to know them. Life Circle isn't about getting traffic, it's about mutual support, so please try not to just visit the bloggers linking up first. I will endeavour to read as many posts and comment on them as possible but I may be restricted for time. The badge code, by the way, is here, but I'm hoping to place it on a page on this blog soon.

All change?

These last two weeks have felt like a bit of a write-off. Missy Woo has been on half days at school so I've mostly done the school run three times every day. It shouldn't be that bad - school is a 5 minute car journey away - but only having 9-12 or 1-3.30 free, your day seems to fly by in a flurry of school bags, getting children ready, with your free time flying by even faster. Today, I got home at 1.15, prepared some things for tea, put away some washing, made a couple of phone calls, sat down for a break and it was nearly time to go back to school again.

Thankfully, that ends Monday when she goes full-time. Which leaves me at home all day every day with 6.5 hours to kill. I'm not complaining. I shall be making the most of not having to clockwatch every day for a while. I feel like I've been chained to home these last two weeks but I do appreciate that others end up doing this for longer so I'm not going to complain about it.

But a comment by Julia on this post last week gave me a bit of a push. She asked me what plans I had made in those 3 day to which my answer was none - for reasons I've already described. But it made me realise that now is the time for me to get on with it. To make plans and carry them out. To set myself some goals and set about achieving them. To find my way onto a path instead of ambling about. To start being me a bit more often, rather than someone's mummy. And that's proving to be quite scary. Not that that will stop me; I've been out of my comfort zone many times.

I have some vague ideas in my head about what I'm going to do and I've been working on them. For instance, I've applied for some part time jobs; I have an interview for one at the end of the month and am still waiting to hear from the other as applications close today. I'm still working on my fitness and healthy eating with my aim to reach a size 12 by Christmas, which should be achievable. There are other things I want to do too - some things I want to change, some things I want to start doing. I've blogged about this before and have spent time mulling things over in my head ever since. I think I know where I want to go with them now, so they will be an important feature of the plans I'm going to make for myself.

Nothing, as yet, is written in stone but I need to set something to aim for to get me started. I'm blogging about it now to remind myself that the time IS now to do these things, so that I don't drift. This post will be here, nagging away at me, reminding me to get on with working out what it is I want, making those plans and putting them into action. My children are starting on a long road whereas I'm at a crossroads really.

The time is now. I'm a little scared, but wish me luck.

Photo credit: Redvers

If you are at the same point as me and are about to make changes in your life, big or small, feel free to leave a comment and share them with me and my lovely readers. Add a linky if you like if you've blogged about it. Thanks.

Growing up - and moving on...

Missy Woo starts school in September. She keeps thinking she's starting any minute now she's 4. She thought after her birthday, and now because she has her last music group session on Friday and we're potentially going to sports day at school after that, she thinks she's starting school then. I have no doubt that, despite the fact that she'll be one of the youngest in her year group, she's ready for it and will transition fine; which is good because she'll be full time before September is out. My little girl is growing up and moving on. I don't feel sad about that; more pleased for her as she's so excited about it all. When the time comes, I may be a touch emotional about it but I am not anticipating many tears. She virtually kicked me out of the classroom when she went for her settling in session.

Monkey has spent four afternoons in his new class with his new teacher too. I've watched him grow so much this year and I can't believe the progress he's made. His reading is amazingly fluent and he's apparently a "budding mathematician" according to his school report, which was excellent. He's growing up and moving on too.

So where does it leave me? To be honest with you, I don't know. I feel like it is time for me to grow up and move on too, but there is no clear path for me. I don't have my life mapped out for me like a school child. It is what I make of it.

This time of year is no doubt a time when lots of people reflect on this. My life is beginning to feel like I'm growing out of it. I've had a lifestyle based around having babies and pre-school children for the last 5 years and come September, that will be gone. I've had a ball and made lots of new friends, but parts of it are beginning to feel not fit for purpose, as they are part of the life I'm about to leave behind, like I'm shedding a skin or something.

The trouble is, some parts of that skin are shed easily and left behind. Other parts are more difficult to shed. Some of them are and have been major commitments of time and effort. I've given a lot, but got a lot back too as they have been incredibly rewarding and I've been proud of my achievements. However, recently, I've been wondering if it's still for me. The commitments centre around early parenthood and I'm not in that place any more, plus things are going on that have dented my enthusiasm. My annual pep-talk normally buoys my enthusiasm for a good few months; this time, it's all but gone in a few weeks. Others carry on giving their all for years but I am not sure I want to give as much. The problem I have is I know that doing it half-heartedly is a recipe for disaster and anyway, I don't DO that. Unless there is someone for me to give it all to and I walk away fully, I know eventually I'll just do it myself, and that helps no-one. There was no-one before me for a good while and things suffered. I've put a lot of effort into turning that around and got somewhere but I don't feel as enthusiastic about it any more. And there are lots of (more social) aspects that I'd miss - but that's not a reason to stay on, is it?

What I'd like to do is take a step back, and reduce that commitment right down, restricting it to the stuff I know I am best at and therefore I enjoy the most. However, as much as I can set those boundaries, will others respect them - or will I be put in a position where gradually, I end up doing as much as before? Or will it be easier just to walk away totally? And in either case, what else can I do? I would be really interested in your thoughts on this matter. I'm being deliberately obtuse about this because this is me thinking aloud about my future with no hard and fast decisions. I don't want people from those circles to read this blog and get wind of my thinking, though anyone reading this that is really close to me is likely to know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm playing this down in terms of what it is so their interest is not piqued.

As I said above, I'd love your input on my dilemma but also, I'd love you to share any experiences you might have of your moving on stage when your kids were all finally in school. Judging by the fertility rate of the mums in Monkey's class (current tally 1 baby, 2 due in July, 1 due November and twins due Christmas Day), I know that having another baby is one way of approaching it but that's not going to happen to me. 45 really is too late to be starting again. Work is a dilemma too - I need to start earning proper money again soon but at the same time, I don't want to have to use excessive amounts of wrap around care as I'd like to be able to catch up with them at the end of a school day, and the only credible option appears to be to find work in another school. I worked in IT for 22 years until April 2009 but it seems that truly flexible family-friendly options in that line of work are like hens' teeth.

All thoughts will be gratefully received. I have a lot of thinking, soul searching and researching to do over the summer so that come September, I too am ready to start growing up - and moving on.

Image: Gregory Szarkiewicz / FreeDigitalPhotos.net