Fill in the blanks

A couple of lovely bloggers tagged me in this meme called Fill in the Blanks. All you do is.... fill in the blanks. Doh! Sounds easy, doesn't it? Then I read their posts in detail. First was Clare at A Slice of Life who wrote an immensely brave and candid post about some of the struggles she has faced. Then, my dear friend Garry from Blog Up North wrote an honest and analytical post about how he sees himself and his character. Gulp. Realising this is more introspective than it looks, I'd been giving some thought to this for a while so here goes...

Photo credit: Ale Paiva

I am ..... a kaleidoscope. I gave this a lot of thought and realised I am or I have been many, many things. I was the career woman, now I am mother, blogger, housewife, volunteer and governor (elect, I haven't done anything yet). A kaleidoscope describes me because even in my working life, I had to adapt pretty quickly, having being dropped in the deep end a lot and it mostly turned out well. So, like a kaleidoscope, turn me and I'll change, the pieces will shift around and fall into a new pattern, hopefully as good as the last one.

The bravest thing I’ve ever done… is a toughie. I don't think of anything I've done is particularly brave. I once helped "save" a woman who had taken an overdose along with my ex but she flagged us to stop as we were driving through the New Forest but that's not particularly brave, we just took her to a police station. I've never been a great flyer and yet, I still get on planes because I know I have to do it if I want to see the world, and I am a lot better now at flying. People thought I was "brave" when I had a massive post-partum haemorrhage after Missy Woo was born but to be honest, I did nothing (except bleed, of course) and it was dealt with pretty calmly and professionally by the midwives and doctors. I never really felt any ill-effects nor did I need a blood transfusion - although the midwives failed to believe me and kept testing my iron levels. I've yet to do anything truly brave.

Photo credit: geri jean

I feel prettiest when... I feel confident in my own appearance. Wearing certain clothes always make me feel good about how I look (although I'm not sure the word you could use about me is "pretty") and losing weight to be the size I want to be certainly helps. I do like a good compliment too. Knowing someone else thinks I look good makes a huge difference to how I feel myself. Yes, I'm easily pleased. And I still don't like most photographs taken of me. I'm rarely happy with them. 

Something that keeps me awake at night is… not a lot these days. Insomnia can sometimes keep me awake but only if I go to bed before I feel tired. Generally, I go to bed only when I'm tired and this can be very late into the night, but it does mean I fall asleep quickly. Just occasionally, my head will be buzzing with things I've been doing and plans I'm making which will keep me from falling asleep. But not often.

My favourite meal is... whatever I'm eating today. I love food so choosing one favourite would be really hard. I've eaten some fantastic meals - like half a chicken with half a lobster and rice at the "roof top" restaurant at El Corte Inglés in the middle of Barcelona. Another that sticks in my mind is the first time we had patatas bravas in Valencia. (We'd had them before, just not in Valencia). It had garlic mayonnaise on top of the crispy fried potatoes and was topped with serrano ham. I was in food heaven. And then, there was the 10 course tasting menu I had for my birthday in January. Or the fantastic lunch we had at Parkers Arms on Valentine's Day where I had - amongst other things - a dark chocolate and peanut butter cheesecake, which was utterly divine. Oh, and the Thai Coconut Chicken I have every time I meet my friend for lunch at Moka in Preston. I could have all of those things again. But ask me to choose a total favourite? No way! (I may have gone off on one just then... good job no-one noticed.)

The way to my heart is... by making me laugh, making me feel good about myself and showing me that you care. I guess laughter is linked to feeling good as well, but I am fairly self-critical and don't rate myself highly at many things so having people that make me feel good and who care about me is quite important. Give me those three things with an added dash of respect, throw in the hugs for good measure, and I'll put up with most things.

I would like to be... good at everything I do, and always trying my best. I would like to be more confident, a better mother, a better blogger, slimmer, fitter; you name it, I'd like it. I'd also like to have some of my old life back and be earning more regularly so that I can stop worrying about money and give the children occasional treats without thinking too hard or scraping everything together. Is that too much to ask? 

And now, it's my turn to tag a few bloggers to carry this on and have their own bash at filling in the blanks. 

They are:

Northern Heckler

Nickie at Typecast

Grumpyish Mum

Cass at Surfacing

Sharron at Chocolate is Therapy

If you're not tagged, feel free to tag yourself and link back in the comments.