Friday, 30 July 2010

You know you're a Mum when....

I've picked up this great meme from Christine at Thinly Spread. She decided to write about the things that mark her out as a mother of children. I thought I'd add mine. (Assuming I can find 10 new ones of course!)

1. You're not grossed out by anything anymore. By the time you become a mother, your dignity has gone anyway, considering the number of people that have surveyed your private parts during pregnancy and birth. And then, unless you are very lucky, within days, you will have been peed, puked and pooed on, sometimes all three at the same time. Actually, newborn nappies are a doddle compared to the ones you get after weaning..... anyhow, you've seen it and done it all by then. Nothing is too gross, nothing can faze you.

2. You find yourself singing a tune, which at first you don't recognise, and then realise that it's the theme tune from a children's TV programme. And it will not go from your head, however hard you try.

3. You notice ambulances/police cars/fire engines/diggers/tractors whilst out driving, point them out excitedly and then realise you are alone in your car. Good job no-one else is there to see your embarrassment.

4. Your fridge looks like this. Party invites, reminders, school dinner menus, certificates, notes from school and nursery, reminders for all sorts of things placed somewhere where you can grab hold of them quickly. Oh, and your little darlings' artwork. Before children arrived in this house, it would have been a surprise if more than 4 things were stuck on it. (Some of those fridge magnets weren't my choice either!)

5. Tidying your house is akin to painting the Forth Bridge. As soon as you finish at one end, it's time to start again at the other and it's never all tidy and clean at the same time.  Ditto laundry. Ditto ironing, if I did any.

6. You have random conversations on topics you never thought possible. Recently, I got asked if the baby Jesus only had one hand (too long to explain that one) which was interesting for July. When I explained to the children that my Mum's cat had passed away, they thought she'd gone to Devon, which is where their aunt (my sister) lives, so confusion abounded for about 10 minutes at the end of which, I was crying with laughter.

7. You have finely honed negotiation skills on a par with the United Nations. Seriously, a group of mothers could deliver world peace. You take no nonsense from your children after the 147th fight over who is going to sit on "your side" of the car. There is no storming off, sulking, ceding to unreasonable demands or walking unwittingly into flashpoints. World statesmen would not stand a chance. You are a formidable, and irresistible, force.

8. You see a spot/red mark on your child that wasn't there a few hours ago. Immediately, your brain races off on a kind of instant and internal Google search. First, you search "meningitis symptoms" and grab a glass to press on it. It blanches and you exhale, not having realised you've been holding your breath since noticing aforementioned mark. Next, it's "chickenpox" (even if your child has already had it) and your inbuilt family diary flicks back over the last few days to see if you think your child has been near anyone who is or who could be pregnant. You check for other, similar spots. You take their temperature. You dispense Calpol, just in case, even if won't cure spots. You cross your fingers that they will be OK tomorrow and they don't miss school/nursery/their best friend's party they have been looking forward to for yonks.

9. You well up, or cry at everything. News stories are never the same once you are a mother. You hear of a death or deaths and you can't help thinking "that was someone's son or daughter". You know that someone somewhere is grieving the loss of a child, however old that child was, and you can only imagine the pain that they must be feeling. And that sets you off. On a lighter note, so does the end of most children's films.

10. Your heart melts when your nearly 4 year old daughter stops what she is doing at music group, comes up to you, wraps her arms around you and says "Mummy, are you very proud of me?" Right at that moment, whatever else she's done that day, she's forgiven and you love her without question. Which you always do anyway; it's just that sometimes, other stuff gets in the way. Your kids can pull up really fast with a few words or a single action, and you are reminded that you ARE a mother, and that you are their world to them. Deep stuff.

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So, there you go, there are my 10. Do you like them? I'm not going to tag anyone in particular to pass on this great meme, but feel free to tag yourself and have a go. Place a link in the comments if you want my other readers to find it, and whilst you are at it, why not visit Christine's fantastic original post and leave a comment with your link there too? Get yourself a badge too (see below). Dads, please note - there is a badge for you too on Thinly Spread, so don't consider yourself excluded.


  1. Lovely responses, and I can identify with so many of them. If you're house is anything like mine, painting the Forth Bridge would be easier.

  2. Great post! I've done one but it's not as extensive as yours. Will go back & add before posting! I love the fire engine bit!!

  3. Oh I laughed out loud and nodded a lot! Fab, fab, FAB post, well done you! My fridge looks like that, I cry and laugh in equal measure, I am tractor obssessed, tidying up is Everestian as is washing...I identify with all of it. So glad you did this! C xxx

  4. veryboredincatalunya30 July 2010 at 12:13

    Brilliant! Especially number 5. x

  5. yes particularly identify with 1 and 3 which I still do - oh look there's a birdy on the grass over there *pointing

  6. LOL, exactly! Thanks for reading and making a comment.

  7. Thanks Julia. I thought I'd struggle but once I started thinking, the ideas came. Wrote it over several sittings as it were tho.

  8. Thanks Chris, so glad you liked my efforts. I had a lot to live up to. :)

  9. Yep, we have all been there and having seen the state of my friend's house at 10am which was straight at 9.30, I know I am definitely not alone. Thanks for the comment!

  10. LOL Pete. Thanks for commenting.

  11. I can identify with all of these (except maybe the poking and prodding during pregnancy).

    You can't tease us though. We need to know the baby Jesus story.

  12. Okayyyyyy.....

    4yo sat in the back of the car and we were on our way to nursery to her leavers' awards. She suddenly piped up, "Mummy, does baby Jesus only have one hand?" Cue me and OH looking at each other puzzled in the front of the car.

    Then we realised.... at Christmas, my SIL (her aunt) bought her - for some reason unknown to me other than it was reduced probably - a Virgin Mary dressing up costume complete with "swaddled" baby Jesus, which had been hanging around the playroom.

    Said baby has a little hand poking out of the swaddle so it looks like he only has one hand.......

  13. So so true - might have a go at this one if I find some time between dirty weaning nappies, laundry, entertainment and so on :)

  14. what a great idea. might have to pinch this post from you if thats ok :D xx I can totally relate with ALL!!! Great post!

  15. Yeah, do, Dawnie! I'm sure you can come up with some from the perspective of a first time mum with an under 1. Post the link up here if you like and on Christine's site.

  16. Pinch away! That's what it's all about. And feel free to post a link in the comments to lead others to it here and on Christine's blog too. Thanks for taking the time to visit and comment.

  17. This is absolutly so very true. I even found myself crying at a kid's cartoon that had a little girl giving up her favourite doll becuase I was so upset for her (not helped by having had a really difficult day with my 5 month old who uncharacteristically decided he would resist all attempts to go to sleep during the day despite needing at least 3-4 hours daytime napping).

    Anyway, found your blog via Mummy's Little Monkey's Blow Your Own Blog Horn. Looking forward to reading more of your blogs and tweets.

  18. Thanks Liz. I've been quiet for a couple of days but largely because I've been hatching more blog posts. I've got two lined up for the next couple of days and probably another before the weekend.


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